I hurt my boyfriend emotionally reddit

In a way, I want him to see this post, just like I saw his. But, this is the story. When we first met, things were good. Part of me feels like I should have saved myself a lot of pain and left then, but here I am still. He suffers with depression, and on a bad day, I know that things about that relationship enter his mind.

They were together 3 years, and from what I gather, were on and off a lot, as they fell out a lot. She cheated on him a few times, and he ended it is about all I know.

She had some problems with checking up on him all the time because she had some kind of OCD and had it in her head he would cheat. When I met him, I think they had been split up for about 8 or 9 months. I still feel like that. I want someone to feel for me how I feel for them. I feel like I deserve it. About 3 or 4 months after this, I snooped on his Facebook.

I know I was in the wrong for snooping, but I had this horrible gut feeling and I had to know if he was looking his ex up a lot. He was searching for her every single day nearly. He was mad for a few minutes, then realised how it had made me feel. I trust him. In October time, or September, she messaged him, bringing up bad things about their relationship.

He told me straight away, and my heart sank. I felt really low for a while then, and one night I felt so angry about it all that I sent her a message.Medically Reviewed By: Laura Angers.

You thought you knew him. Your boyfriend was loving, kind, and affectionate, and you found out that he wasn't the man you believed him to be. If you discovered that your boyfriend cheated on you, it's completely understandable that you're devastated. But you can get through this, with the right resources. Feeling Confused And Upset? You may be asking yourself, " Why did my boyfriend cheat on me? This person was supposed to love you and honor your commitments. They've broken your trust and made you question everything about your relationship.

When you find out that your partner cheated, many questions come into play. And you're allowed to feel all of your feelings. There is no wrong way to feel in this situation. You may be in a state of shock. That's understandable, and if you can't seem to grasp what he did, you don't have to push yourself to feel differently than you feel right now.

Your emotions are probably all over the place. One thing you can do is talk to your friends.

How Guys Really Feel After A Breakup, According To Men

Confide in a close friend or loved one and tell them how you're feeling. You're allowed to be angry, sad, frustrated, or confused. Maybe you believed that your relationship was perfect, and this infidelity comes as a complete surprise to you. Perhaps you suspected something was wrong, but couldn't put your finger on it.I love your answer it helped the most out of all these answers. He said he for gave me but still thinks its right to end what we have. I will not give up. If you try too hard, all you will do is push him away.

Forgiveness is great but that does not mean a reconciliation is ever possible. If you loved him as much as you say then why was is so easy for you to almost fall into bed with some other guy? I don't trust myself when I drink I gave up yesterday to try and get him to know how sorry I was and really wanted to be a better girl friend for him.

I'm more confused now We all make mistakes, we are human. I'd rather love and make mistakes then to never love at all. I hope a lesson was learned here and I believe it was. Good luck to you all! Why are you so nagitive? If I was in his shoes I would believe him when he told me nothing happen I just thought it did. I have told him I would only drink with him.

I know that it is still a new problem and I need to give him time to get over the shock. You would not just believe him and if you did, then either you or your relationship already have issues beyond what you have explained here.

I say that because its only natural human nature to second guess what some1 says, especially if your partner gives you reason to. The only opinion from guys was selected the Most Helpful Opinion, but you can still contribute by sharing an opinion!

I got black out drunk one night and came back in bed with another guy. I thought we had sex so when my boyfriend came home I was crying really bad and told him I cheated on you. I can let this happen so I wrote him a letter telling him how I feel from the heart and hoping that it would have helped but all it did was get him to let me try and fix this, his heart I really miss him saying I love you.

I really need it I can't lose him I know so where in side his head and heart he wants me here still. Share Facebook. I hurt my boyfriend really bad and I want to fix it. How do I do this? Add Opinion.I also want to share some guidance about what to do when you come across emotionally unavailable men in your life.

8 Signs Your Boyfriend is Mentally Unstable

I will then share specific advice for women who are chasing emotionally unavailable men. An emotionally unavailable man is typically someone who is unable or unwilling to emotionally commit to an intimate relationship with you.

This type of man will often want to keep things casual and undefined in order to avoid dealing with the emotional commitments that characterize a typical long-term relationship. What makes me an emotionally unavailable man? I believe being honest about this may help people who have emotionally unavailable men in their lives. A few years ago I shared my experience of being still single and finally figuring out why.

At the time, I used some hypnotherapy techniques to uncover some childhood attachment issues. In short, I feared getting emotionally attached because of the pain and suffering that would inevitably result when the relationship would end.

During my late teens, I experienced a particularly difficult breakup. When I finally developed the courage to move on, she made it very difficult for me, even threatening suicide a few times.

But I do believe that deep introspection is important to acknowledge the reality in order to change. The exercise he shares in the masterclass enabled me to understand this is what happened in my past.

I now feel empowered to create a new reality for myself moving forward. Now, I can understand that being emotionally unavailable already causes immense suffering. They may be—like I used to be—the type to avoid getting too attached.

Situationships —those messy, undefined, and uncommitted relationships—are often the result.

How do you get Over a Girl? r/AskReddit Reddit Stories - Top Posts

The person without power is usually the one who has to work harder to keep their partner interested. The common pattern amongst people who chase emotionally unavailable men appears to be the pursuit of self-worth. If someone is emotionally unavailable, but you are the one who opens him up and makes him emotionally available, you prove your sense of self-worth to yourself.

As an emotionally unavailable man who has avoided intimacy for much of his adult life, I know this pattern well.

I have some advice about how to deal with having an emotionally unavailable man in your life, based on my experience. Emotionally unavailable men will probably want attention from you. They will want the affection that you bring. It helped me to explore the deeper roots of my emotional unavailability. Instead, I have two suggestions that will be much more effective because they focus on the one thing you have control of:. Women who chase emotionally unavailable are usually trying to get their feelings of self-worth from others.

Instead, I recommend making a commitment to yourself. This means understanding that you are in a relationship with yourself. You must find a way to get your feelings of self-worth from how you see yourself. You need to feel like you are worthy of love with or without your emotionally unavailable man. Trust yourself.My first serious relationship was about 9 months ago with an ex I was whipped and so attached to him.

But sadly found out that he was cheating on me the whole time with other girls. My ex and I had a long distance relationship. Even when he would hurt me I would still forgive him and he would repeatedly hurt me till he broke up with me.

And till this day I miss him. But now I'm in a relationship with someone I've been with for 5 months now and he's the whipped one now, idk hurting him makes me feel good about myself?

Like I like to make him sad and make him cry. Is it because of my past? I'm not a mean person, it just makes me feel good about myself.

Be kind and caring. And getting on their case if they get bratty :but generally I love being nice to them. You're definitely continuing to live your past relationship with your current one. There's a certain word for describing women like you, but the fact that you acknowledge it and are looking for an answer to change this at least I hope you are means you truly ARE a good person who cares about her boyfriend.

I don't believe you should have gotten into a new relationship so soon, as it's clear that there are emotional issues you have to work out. You are now in another relationship with a guy who clearly loves you enough as to put up with all the disrespect from your part.

Not cool by the way. Unless you want to end up alone and miserable soon, and for a long time, I suggest you start to make some serious changes. First off, if you don't really love the guy, let him know. Apologize for all the disrespect and for leading him on all this time. If you DO like him, be open with him about your past relationship, and tell him that you want to change for the better, and that you would like his support. You won't change overnight.

It will take time, and effort on both your parts if you want your relationship to work.So how do you identify him before you get hurt? Not all emotionally abusive men will show you a lack of respect from Day 1. But how do they behave toward other people and speak about them?

i hurt my boyfriend emotionally reddit

If your boyfriend is critical or contemptuous of other people, be very aware that you have a short shelf life before you become those other people.

Telling you his hard luck story is a neat ploy. You only have to respond like the uber-caring, empathic, trusting person you are for him to know you are his perfect… prey. That could include drug taking, alcohol abuse, leering at women, tight-fistedness, or anger issues.

He gets most of the airplay, and the limelight, etc. Showing consideration for you, your wishes, and your feelings is not his top priority. He asks inappropriate personal questions early on. He rushes you and the relationship. This guy is bad news. So what did you?

You ignored that feeling. It simply comes to the right conclusion in the present moment. Its predictions are far more clear-sighted than yours are. If you want to keep yourself safe from emotionally abusive men, you have to learn how to spot them. Certain character traits can be clues to […]. No one should ever go through being humiliated […]. Sign up for the Thought Catalog Weekly and get the best stories from the week to your inbox every Friday.

You may unsubscribe at any time. By subscribing, you agree to the terms of our Privacy Statement. Here are the tell tale signs that he is an emotionally abusive man: 1. He shows a lack of respect. He always tells incredible hard luck stories about his past. You notice worrying back stories about women. He gets star billing in the relationship. He has a short fuse. He sets off warning bells in your gut.

Find more must-read sex and dating tips! Follow Her Catalog on Facebook today. More From Thought Catalog. HIV Confessions. Get our newsletter every Friday! You're in! Follow Thought Catalog.When you forgive, you give as before. You give without reservation. Giving and receiving are both natural to humans. Resentment, anger, and hatred only deviate us from the true nature of who we are and make us more unhappy. When someone hurts youallow yourself to feel the emotions.

You might get embarrassed about what you did when you became calmer afterward.

i hurt my boyfriend emotionally reddit

Know that taking revenge and hurting the other person will only hurt both of you further. The cycle will only stop when one of you stops the flow of hatred. Whenever your hurt feeling arisesjust let it be there.

How To Recover From Emotional Cheating

Observe it. Feel the body sensation. Let it go if you can. Just welcome your emotions. Forgiveness will come eventually with time. Even though taking appropriate actions against copycats is necessary, but he was spending way too many days agonizing over the issue.

His mood was affected. He could be doing his artwork, but instead, he chose to write complaint letters to Amazon. But does taking down the imitations make my brother any happier? He knew the copycats could still upload his designs on another platform.

i hurt my boyfriend emotionally reddit

Know that holding on to your grudges is the same as holding onto suffering. It is super tiring to resent someone. Everyone is right in terms of their own perspectives. We all had done something wrong in our life. Instead of labeling the other person as evil or bad, realize that the other person is unconscious. Most people are motivated by fear. Sometimes, we too are controlled by fear without our realization. Let me give you an example. Some parents would scold them for not paying attention or putting in the effort.

Some people are gifted in maths, they are able to see the patterns immediately, while others are gifted in other areas. You might be resenting the other person all these while.

i hurt my boyfriend emotionally reddit

But for all you know, they might not even know they have done anything wrong! Our mind loves to go back to the past and replay the unhappy moments.

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